Friday, November 14, 2014

Inspired by my friend and fellow blogger, Betsy

When I hopped on the bus, I grabbed my phone to catch up on some blog posts.  After reading just one post, Betsy's at Two Writing Teachers, I pulled out my writer's notebook instead.  And this morning I'm setting the timer for 30 minutes.  

Surprised by an offer of senior space, I take a seat
I follow moving white lights whizzing by homeward bound
I follow moving red lights bound for the city
I follow white lights, almost stationary, threading their way home.
I look around me, people sit silenced by devices in hand,
Plugged in, but not connecting.
I'm surprised by the quiet and 
the total darkness at so early an hour 
Lights twinkle at the edge of the water
Beckoning me toward evening pleasure.
The tunnel curves into the bowels of the city
The rounded face of a station beckons,
We pause at a red light
A long red light
Accompanied by the quiet rumble of radio engineers.
Finally we edge toward the face of our first stop
No one disembarks, we add one passenger
The vacuum door closes with a whoosh
We wait and watch the red lights ahead
They disappear and finally we ease forward. 
Only to stop and wait again at another red light
We move forward to 
Another stop, six get off, a few get on
We stop and wait again,
An occasional female voice breaks the silence to 
Announce the next station
As we ease forward, pulled by the light.

This draft was completed in 22 minutes.  Thanks, Betsy, for inviting me to write a poem. Your voice  was so powerful that I had no choice but to respond.  And thanks for our slow progress which provided time to reflect and write.

Keri Collins Lewis at Keri Recommends is hosting Poetry Friday today.  Thanks for hosting, Keri, during this difficult time for you.  Be sure to stop by for today's taste of poetry love.


  1. Love the description here! Thanks for sharing this poem. What a well spent 22 minutes.

  2. This is wonderful, Ramona, with a very immediate feel. I also really like the motion throughout, and the stop-and-go rhythm. Thanks so much for sharing this today!

  3. Nicely written. Time well spent. But the very idea of a bus ride like this would send me right over the edge! I must try to savour my time at Oklahoma red lights.

  4. Great use of your commute time, Ramona! Love the line "Plugged in, but not connecting." So true! =)

  5. Thanks for taking us along on your ride. I enjoyed "looking" through your eyes and words!

  6. The use of the lights throughout was a real draw, and to sum it up with "pulled by the light" was a wonderful observation. Great 22 minutes that would otherwise likely have been spent disconnected with surroundings.

  7. You really capture the feel of city transportation in early evening- that contrast of quiet and busy, still and rushing! You inspire me to get out my notebook!

  8. You've found that intriguing scene so beautifully, taken us there. I can almost feel it, breathing & quiet, maybe click of the phones? The red lights helped you didn't they? Wonderful, Ramona.

  9. It was actually calming to sit on the bus noticing with you. I wish I could take the bus to work and use those 20 minutes in a variety of ways other thank concentrating on the road and my audio book!

  10. I couldn't decide if you were on a bus or a light rail train that moves above the ground. It seemed I traveled with you as you moved from spot to spot. These words spoke volumes: "people sit silenced by devices in hand,
    Plugged in, but not connecting." I loved the ending line: "as we ease forward, pulled by light."


  11. I love the contrasts you set up between light and dark, red lights and white lights. And that in the end, "we ease forward, pulled by the light."