Friday, August 28, 2020

Poetry Friday: My Expanded Etheree!

Heidi at my juicy little universe is hosting 
this week's roundup of poetic goodness.

It's almost the end of the month and I challenged myself to write an original poem once a month. I know that isn't much, but it's a challenge for me. After seeing some Poetry Friday friends post etherees, I wanted to try out this form. (The poetry form, Etheree, consists of 10 lines of 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 syllables.)  

I decided to try the form with my OLW (one little word) for 2020. After all, it's the perfect one syllable word for the first line. The only problem was that I ended up with 12 lines instead of 10. So I went to work whittling it down to fit the ten line structure. Only I think I still like my expanded 12 line, 12 syllable poem better. So I'm posting both versions. 

My expanded poem with 12 lines, 12 syllables:

Light, 

my one

little word

for this year of

living differently.

I seek moments of shine

to calm my frenetic heart

and turn my heart to gratitude.

I seek friends shining beacons of hope

illuminating the path through darkness.

I seek Jesus, the source of all light, who heals,

succors and sustains my journey toward the Light.

                                                    - Ramona Behnke

 

The shortened version to fit the 10 line Etheree structure: 

 

Light,

my one

little word.

I seek moments

of shine to turn my

heart toward gratitude.

I seek friends with hope filled hearts

to lighten our walk through the dark.

I seek Jesus, the source of all light,

who succors and sustains my quest for Light.

                                            - Ramona Behnke 

 My daughter, Sara, created this light visual for my desk!

9 comments:

  1. Oh, Ramona, I love them both. And that beautiful reminder on your desk. My OLW is embrace. Boy, have I had to embrace more that I ever thought when I chose it. (I accidentally typed embrave when I wrote this comment. A more fitting word.)

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  2. Ramona, I enjoyed both poems and I am so glad that you committed to writing one poem a month. Your light shining bright sign is such a great gift from your daughter and a wonderful reminder of where the source of our light comes from. "I seek Jesus, the source of all light,
    who succors and sustains my quest for Light."

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  3. Love this! I actually resonate more with the shortened version, I am not sure why. Thank you for sharing!

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  4. I love that you are seeking the light...and that you have light and are light. Beautiful post.

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  5. Good for you that you are staying true to your OLW. I usually lose sight by about February! lol :-)

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  6. I haven't chosen a OLW for a long time, Ramona, but this is one that seems most beautiful for this year. I love both your poems. Who says you can't have those extra lines if you desire? Love seeing your desk inspiration, too!

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  7. What we all wish for now, moments of light and gratitude. Both poems are lovely, but the shorter version had more impact for me. Thank you for sharing both.

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  8. Like all here I like both your poems, though feel your 10 line etheree, like Janice, shines with even more light most succinctly. Thanks for sharing it, and the lovely shining light image by your daughter too!

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  9. Beautiful, Ramona. And that's what I LOVE about poetic forms. They get you started. The poem might stray, and that's totally great! You don't have to write an etheree, but you use that cage of rules to get your words beating against those same rules.

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